IQS

It has been a very long time since I have updated my blog. To be honest I haven't had any desire to get on here. I've been tired and stressed and feeling very, for lack of a better word, trapped. Let me sum up for you all the last few months. Dan and I are ready for a better life, more specifically, Dan hates his job and he makes very little money doing it. We keep our heads above water and have enough money to put some away every month but neither of us feel like we are doing with our lives all that we have the potential of doing. Trying to figure out what our potential is has been very stressful and to be frank, we don't see eye to eye on this issue. We are working on it though. To make matters worse, I feel exhausted, and because of my pelvis I have been unable to work out for a majority of the last 6 months. I could go for walks, and I did, but that really hasn't done much for me. All of this created a perfect storm and I have been turning to what I always turn to for comfort, Food; Sugary, Caffeine loaded, delicious food. Anything that tasted good enough that it could distract me from all of the unpleasant feelings swirling about inside of me. So much food that even while breast feeding full time and walking for an hour everyday I was able to gain 20lbs in a matter of months. I don't want to dwell to much on weight or on how my clothes fit because my vanity has very little to do with my feelings of worth. Of course I would love for my clothes to fit better and turning a few heads every now and then might feel good but that's not whats important. The part of all this that has me feeling the most motivated to change is simply that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have NO energy, NO motivation, and my thoughts don't ever seem clear. My house is a mess, my son isn't getting my full attention, and my husband has been almost completely neglected. I wake up at 4:30am, shower, go to work, crack open a soda to give me some oomph. A few hours later, I eat a doughnut or two for a little more oomph. A few hours pass by and again I need another oomph because the earlier two oomph's have left me feeling worse than before I even started oomph-ing!  By the time I get home from work I am completely exhausted and I feel like I'm starving even though I have already consumed all the calories I would need for 2 days. Is this not completely insane?? I know the sodas don't work, the doughnuts don't work, the bowls of sugary cereal and ice cream don't work but still I keep turning to them. It's like a battered women returning to her abusive spouse over and over again, and just like a battered women, This behavior is going to kill me if I don't stop! So I started to do some research and after reading a post on facebook from Sarah Wilson's blog I became convinced. I am a sugar addict. Sugar is toxic, addictive, and it has complete control over me. I refuse to continue on this way so I have committed to 8 weeks without sugar. I bought the "I Quit Sugar" Ebook and I am ready to make this happen.
My family deserves a better wife and mother, and I deserve a better me. I am so ready to feel better! I plan to post on here at least once a week for the full 8 weeks and update you all on my progress and let you know how I am feeling. I will also try and post links about sugar and it's negative effects on our bodies. Like I said earlier, weight is not the main issue here so I plan to focus on feeling better. Wish me luck, say some prayers, and if you feel up to it, join me!

Here are some links to the articles that were my catalyst:
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2012/02/sugar-as-toxic-as-booze-and-fags-my-thoughts/
 and
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2011/11/we-quit-sugar-and-this-is-what-has-happened/