I am truly a blogging failure. Call it a lack of motivation or an adjustment period maybe. It's been awhile to say the least. So many things have changed. Last June we packed up a Uhaul (something I've never done for myself) and headed east, bound for Colorado. Currently we are living in Castle Rock while we anxiously wait on a house. Dan is working for his step father who works in real estate, more specifically he flips houses. It's like living HGTV, pretty awesome! We are excited for our chance to find a dilapidated house and bring it back to life. I'm so excited to share a blog about that portion of the process, this part is less exciting and far more frustrating. It takes a long time to find the right deal, that is for sure! The market is changing, more investors are trying to get into foreclosed homes making the prices rise. A year ago, we would have been able to find an amazing home much more quickly. I don't believe in blind chance however, there is a sense of divine providence and I know God has his eyes on us, we are willingly being molded and our new home will be exactly what we need. We just have to be patient. Easier said than done! This transition has been difficult. Saying goodbye to my family, friends, and job that I love, was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. It's still hard. Distance changes relationships drastically. It's still hard for me to come to terms with the fact that we aren't going back and this isn't just an extended vacation. I can't believe it's been 6 months already! Change really throws me for a loop. I enjoy the security of steady routine so big changes tend to be problematic for me. Change is a good thing, I know, I can sense my own growth. I am still grieving for Saint George, It was such a a huge and life changing point in my life. We had so much joy there. But joy is not found in a place. It is found in relationships and we are making new and beautiful relationships here. Our church is amazing. These are such motivated and spiritual people. They let God do such amazing things through them. I feel so grateful to be part of such an active church. A few weeks ago I was privileged to get to deliver gifts for families on behalf of an incarcerated parent. The challenges these families face are daunting. It was so amazing to be part of a solution to some of their problems. In the process of helping with the Angel Tree Ministry I was introduced to Restoration Outreach Programs of Denver. Wow. What an awesome organization! The best part is, I had just finished reading "When Helping Hurts". This organization is modeled by principles outlined in that book. By the way, it's a great book and I encourage anyone with a heart to serve the poor to read it. I hope to become more involved with ROP once we move closer to them. Currently I am serving as a nanny for a cute little family in Denver. It's a great job. I get to bring Oliver and play with him as well as sweet baby girl named Chloe. I love it!  
We have been greatly blessed and I look forward to sharing our home buying/fix up soon. Until then, Merry Christmas!

IQS

It has been a very long time since I have updated my blog. To be honest I haven't had any desire to get on here. I've been tired and stressed and feeling very, for lack of a better word, trapped. Let me sum up for you all the last few months. Dan and I are ready for a better life, more specifically, Dan hates his job and he makes very little money doing it. We keep our heads above water and have enough money to put some away every month but neither of us feel like we are doing with our lives all that we have the potential of doing. Trying to figure out what our potential is has been very stressful and to be frank, we don't see eye to eye on this issue. We are working on it though. To make matters worse, I feel exhausted, and because of my pelvis I have been unable to work out for a majority of the last 6 months. I could go for walks, and I did, but that really hasn't done much for me. All of this created a perfect storm and I have been turning to what I always turn to for comfort, Food; Sugary, Caffeine loaded, delicious food. Anything that tasted good enough that it could distract me from all of the unpleasant feelings swirling about inside of me. So much food that even while breast feeding full time and walking for an hour everyday I was able to gain 20lbs in a matter of months. I don't want to dwell to much on weight or on how my clothes fit because my vanity has very little to do with my feelings of worth. Of course I would love for my clothes to fit better and turning a few heads every now and then might feel good but that's not whats important. The part of all this that has me feeling the most motivated to change is simply that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have NO energy, NO motivation, and my thoughts don't ever seem clear. My house is a mess, my son isn't getting my full attention, and my husband has been almost completely neglected. I wake up at 4:30am, shower, go to work, crack open a soda to give me some oomph. A few hours later, I eat a doughnut or two for a little more oomph. A few hours pass by and again I need another oomph because the earlier two oomph's have left me feeling worse than before I even started oomph-ing!  By the time I get home from work I am completely exhausted and I feel like I'm starving even though I have already consumed all the calories I would need for 2 days. Is this not completely insane?? I know the sodas don't work, the doughnuts don't work, the bowls of sugary cereal and ice cream don't work but still I keep turning to them. It's like a battered women returning to her abusive spouse over and over again, and just like a battered women, This behavior is going to kill me if I don't stop! So I started to do some research and after reading a post on facebook from Sarah Wilson's blog I became convinced. I am a sugar addict. Sugar is toxic, addictive, and it has complete control over me. I refuse to continue on this way so I have committed to 8 weeks without sugar. I bought the "I Quit Sugar" Ebook and I am ready to make this happen.
My family deserves a better wife and mother, and I deserve a better me. I am so ready to feel better! I plan to post on here at least once a week for the full 8 weeks and update you all on my progress and let you know how I am feeling. I will also try and post links about sugar and it's negative effects on our bodies. Like I said earlier, weight is not the main issue here so I plan to focus on feeling better. Wish me luck, say some prayers, and if you feel up to it, join me!

Here are some links to the articles that were my catalyst:
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2012/02/sugar-as-toxic-as-booze-and-fags-my-thoughts/
 and
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2011/11/we-quit-sugar-and-this-is-what-has-happened/

Cabin Fever

Summer is the month for staying indoors here in Saint George. With 105+ degree temps outside and relatively high humidity, I am so happy we have air conditioning! What a life saver.. I am so thankful I work indoors too, I feel bad for anyone stuck outside. It just feels so strange to go from a place where you look forward to summer to where you dread it! All this heat has me feeling a lil bit of cabin fever! Oliver is a blast and I'm having fun rolling around the carpet with him, reading him stories, and feeding him solids! But the indoors is beginning to make me feel like I'm in a prison. We have been trying to get out of the house and go swimming, Oliver is finally starting to like the pool. But its hard to feel motivated to haul all the baby stuff to the pool, esp by myself. I am just anxiously waiting for fall to get here so we can go for long walks and play at the park. One positive, I'm getting to read more. I just ordered a bunch of books off amazon too. I'm currently reading "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist" by Norman Giesler and Frank Turek. I am really enjoying it. I bought a few more books from Norman Giesler and am waiting to get more money so I can get some of Revi Zacharias works as well as more C.S. Lewis and Michele Behe. I have been in a theology, philosophy, and apologetic mood lately. It has me feeling incredibly motivated. This would be a good thing if I didn't feel so stuck. Stuck indoors, stuck in my job, stuck in Saint George, stuck in life. I doesn't help that working out isn't an option because of my pelvis, but I also haven't been able to go to physical therapy. I just havent had a baby sitter and when Dan is home to watch Oli there aren't any appointments available. I am trying to stay active by taking the stairs at work, but I haven't been able to really get my heart pumping in awhile. I think that's adding to the trapped feeling. At least last weekend we got a mini vaca. Dan and I went to SLC for my sister in laws wedding. We had a blast! Better weather, more green, and big beautiful city made for good medicine. My sister in law, Jamie and her new husband Lance looked so happy! They make a great couple and I'm so happy for them. The reception was held in a family friend's backyard nestled at the base of the mountains, giving us a spectacular backdrop. The theme was a country picnic with root beer, wildflowers, and soup, salads, and sandwiches catered by Zoopas. Dan's cousin and one of the groom's friends sang and played live music. That night we stayed at a gorgeous 5 star hotel in down town salt lake called the Grand America. We weren't even allowed to carry our own bags in, a bellman had to, that's how fancy it was. Here are some pictures of the view from our 19th floor room! As well as Oli's first solids. I didnt get any pictures if the wedding because I was video recording. I'll post the video later.

I should have posted this a while ago!

Here are some pictures from our first camping trip as a family! We went to Grand Tetons National Park in Wyoming, and we stayed at Jenny Lake. We also made a quick day trip to Yellowstone. Pretty fun stuff, I can't wait to get out camping again!

Life "rolls" on

Oliver is a rolling machine! He is cruising around the house like nobodies business. It seems like just yesterday he was a helpless little ball in my arms. I kind of miss him actually wanting to cuddle with mommy. Now I have to settle for sleepy Oli snuggles. I can totally see why some people have tons of kids. They grow so fast, you feel like all the fun stages are passing before your eyes!  Monday will be Oli's 6 month check up and I'm anxious to find out how big he has gotten. Breast feeding is still going well, I'm so happy that we have made it to the 6 month mark and we are still going strong. Today we even participated in Le Leche league's "Big Latch", an attempt to break the world record for most women breast feeding at the same time. It was pretty cool to be a part of that. I'm thinking in the next month or so, it will be time to start solids. I will definitely have to do a post on here about that one. I keep slacking on updating this, I will have to get better. Maybe once I finally get Oliver back on a regular nap time I will actually have a set time to keep this updated.

 First teeth!

 Favorite ride!

Taste of perspective.

I recently picked up a book that I have had sitting on my shelf for a few months now waiting to be read. It's called "The Good News About Injustice" by Gary A Haugen. Gary Haugen is the founder of International Justice Mission and also served in the investigation by the UN of the Rwanda Genocide. Now, I am not naive to the fact that there is a great amount of suffering in this world, and I am not naive to the fact that God has given us the tremendous responsibility to do something about it,  but this book is pounding new perspective into me. If you consider yourself a christian, you should read this book. Gary Haugen does an incredible job of reminding us God's call for us to "seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, and plead for the widow" (Isaiah 1:17).  A short time ago I was reading the story of Moses and the part the sprung out from the pages and made my heart ache was how the people were commanded by faro to leave their infants exposed so that they would die. I had a vision of tiny babies left out in the streets to die while their parents hear their cries yet can do nothing. I could hear them crying for their mothers, I imagined the horror and helplessness their parents had to have felt. They had no one to stand up for them in that moment, to defend them and stand up for what was right. No one to "rescue the oppressed". As a parent I am haunted by the thought of someone inflicting suffering upon my defenseless child and not being able to do anything about it. That's where this book comes in. Justice is God's idea. The suffering of this world does not go unnoticed. God has charged us with the duty of caring for the least of these. IJM is a wonderful organization, they are the ones speaking for the oppressed and giving us a way to combat injustice in an ever darkening world. I applaud them in their efforts to be the strong arm for the weak of this world and I plan to find out more ways that I can help the ministry. I would expect that in this life of luxury we could all make a little sacrifice so that others don't have to suffer. If you call yourself a christian, you cannot afford to let yourself become desensitized and numb to the suffering of this world.  Christianity is not merely about your salvation after death, it is also very clearly about service to others.  It is so easy to be swept up in the small problems of our days. I am so guilty of ignoring my many blessings. I routinely have major melt downs over things that, honestly, don't matter in the least. I have got to stop worrying about things that are so superficial and worldly, I could donate the money I spend on them and save lives! What could be more important than that? My priorities, like most people in this privileged country, are so very skewed. Now the question is, am I willing to make the sacrifice so that others may have their very basic needs met? I sure hope so, and I sure hope I don't stop feeling burdened for those in need either. I pray that God redirects my focus so that I can see the blessings that I have and show me ways that I may bless others. By the way, if you actually read through my entire, somewhat depressing blurb, and you feel so inclined, please consider donating in my name to Stop Child Trafficking Now. My previous post has all the information you need, any amount of money and prayers will do good, I can promise that! 

I need your help for this important cause!

Human trafficking has always been something that pulls on my heart strings. The thought of innocent children being brutalized day in and day out with no one to come to their rescue honestly has kept me up at night, as it very well should. I have looked into and follow many organizations. Some are centered around the after care of victims, while others go after the perpetrators, helping under funded law enforcement have a fighting chance against this massive  illegal enterprise. Some children as young as 3 and 4 are turned into sex slaves. What kind of sick freak would pray on a toddler?! The images that flooded my head when I heard this statistic made me want to vomit! Imagine the damage that does to these poor children psychologically and physically? They are as dispensable as a Styrofoam cup to their owners, dehumanized and completely helpless. They are bought or kidnapped for cheap and used over and over again generating massive profits for their owners while simultaneously satisfying the most unthinkable and grotesque desires of some sick pervert. And when the child becomes too old or too sick, they are disposed of no differently than a used napkin. Justice needs to be served, children deserve the innocence of childhood and the people who pray upon them need to be punished and taken to a place where they can no longer hurt children. STOP CHILD TRAFFICKING NOW is an organization that focuses on catching the bad guys, helping to eliminate demand which is the driving force behind child trafficking. It is simply the law of supply and demand, take away the demand and there will be no need for supply. On September 24, 2011 SCTNow will be hosting a walk in Las Vegas to raise funds. I have put together a team called "STG for SCT". My goal is to raise $1,000.00, but to be honest I will not be happy unless I can blow that goal out of the water.  It should be easy too, I have 250 friends on facebook, if each one chipped in 4 bucks, my goal would be reached! So please donate or join my team because everyone doing a little does big things!

http://events.sctnow.org/site/TR?team_id=1183&fr_id=1099&pg=team <---A link to my event page where you can either join or donate.